Holy Family
1 Sam 1: 20-22, 24-28; 1 John 3: 1-2, 21-24; Luke 2: 41-52
Dc. Larry Brockman
A Happy Family! What picture forms in your mind today when you think about a happy family? For most of you, it is probably something from a family of your past, either when you were young, and you were part of your parent’s family; or when you were first married and your children were very young.
Recently, I had my Father’s 8 mm movies converted to a DVD. I hadn’t seen those movies in nearly 30 years. As the first movie began, I saw myself placed on the top of my parent’s dining room table with my first birthday cake. My Parents, Grandparents, Uncle, and favorite Great Uncle were there, smiling broadly, and watching me frolic with the cake. They were moving and interacting- and it all seemed so real and present, like it just happened, even though almost everyone in the movie has already passed away. I couldn’t help but be moved with the charisma and joy. Then, I remembered the super 8 movies I took when I was a new parent- with my son the center of attention with my parents sitting around the table as proud grandparents; and then, even more recently, the nice sound and color videos my son took of his first child’s first birthday came to mind. Now of course, I am the grandparent sitting around the table.
These scenes all showed family, and happy family at that. A certain enthusiasm and charisma were present in all three. One common theme leaped out of all three of them. How much each generation of parents loved their new-born children; how that love was trans-generational; and how the hopes and dreams of the parents and Grandparents were with that new child. The same happy family picture emerges almost every Sunday here at our Baptisms. Sometimes we have 5 or 6 children Baptized and as many as 150 people in the Church, all celebrating Family; all bubbling over with enthusiasm.
These happy pictures of our family don’t last though. Because there are other pictures we have of our families, aren’t there? Pictures of unhappy families. Conflicts develop between parents; children argue with their parents or siblings; these sometimes develop into long standing rifts between brothers and sisters or children and parents; and then there are the divorces and deaths that occur causing sad separations. Yes, these are all less than happy pictures of family.
Is there a picture of our family that would last- one that assures our happiness in the long run? I think the picture we need is of a Holy Family. Today is the feast of the Holy Family and the Holy Family should be our model. I think that there are a few strong hints for us in these readings.
First, John’s letter talks about believing and loving. We have got to believe in the name of the Son, Jesus Christ and keep his commandments. But we must also show our commitment by loving one another always. As parents, our love for each other is a remarkable influence. Parents who are clearly loving each other will have a positive effect on their children because the children will know what love is; it is something they see and sense every day- your example. The same thing with the faith part of it- the believing. Children will believe if they see that their parents really believe. It isn’t so much the details of our faith that the children need to hear from us- although it is good if you can speak to them; but rather, it is visual evidence that you believe, like children seeing us adults praying together, going to Mass, saying the rosary, and taking the high road in the situations of life- honesty in our financial dealings and kindness in our dealings with people. And our love must be inclusive- clearly shared not just between the parents but with the children. It is the kind of love that is selfless, and that means self-sacrifice for the benefit of the people we love.
Second, every one of our children is a gift from God. Not only that, but parents have a duty to return that gift to God. In the first reading, we see Hannah doing just that- literally. She prays for a child, and God answers her prayer with a beautiful baby boy. She then returns the child when weaned to live a life of service to God in the temple forever. Yes, parents have a responsibility to return their children to the care of the Lord at an appropriate time. But maybe not so literally as Hannah did with Samuel. Rather, we need to nurture our children in the knowledge that they are children of God and then release them to do God’s will at the right time. John’s emphasizes that we are all God’s children now. That means that if we really believe that we are God’s children then parents are caretakers, not owners of their children. We may want our children to be doctors and lawyers and football players and cheerleaders and whatever else. But what really matters is what God wants of them because they are God’s children. The point is that it is our responsibility to help them find God’s will for them. After that, they are still our children, but we have turned the responsibility over to God. Many of the happy pictures we have of family when the children are young turn to unhappy pictures later on because of expectations we have for our children and because we fail to help them seek God’s will for themselves and then let go.
Lastly, but not necessarily least important, is obedience. Our Gospel today demonstrates the virtue of obedience. Jesus somehow realized early on that he had a special mission from God. And so, when he was presented to the temple at the age of 12, he was ready to start doing his thing, his Father’s will. But his parents, who were afraid they had lost him, confronted him there after looking for him for three days. And so Jesus went down with them to Nazareth and was obedient to them. God become man was obedient to these mere human mortals who were serving as parents.
Well to all those teens out there, and to all other children out there who are living at home and think that they have arrived and that Mom and Dad are out of touch- take notice. Jesus knew His mission in life early, but he was obedient to his parents, because he respected them and their role as parents. Likewise, so should you be obedient to your parents.
A Holy Family is characterized by recognizing God’s gift of life given to parents as caretakers, not owners; parents who love each other and their children selflessly; parents who believe and who show that belief in word and deed; and parents who let go when the time is right. Children in a Holy Family are obedient until they are released to do God’s will. This obedience is required out of respect, a respect that even God made Man honored. It’s a tall order. But if we can get it right then the picture we will see is that of a Holy Family. And despite the inevitable growing pains of life experienced in all families, that picture leads us to everlasting happiness.
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